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That Long Dark Cloud

January 5, 2014

The downside of taking nearly two weeks off is as you approach the day you go back to work (in my case, tomorrow, Jan 6th), it’s a bit like Bob Dylan’s long, dark cloud coming down — except it isn’t heaven’s door about to be opened.  Of course, not a day went by that I wasn’t in some way involved in work.  Phone calls, e-mail responses, short reports that had to be done: none major, understand, but never able to completely release myself from the grind.  As the day of return approached, though, the dread of going back began to outweigh the joy of being off.  That ought to tell me something — does tell me something, actually, but nothing I’ve not known for some time.

Rumor has it that there are folks who actually enjoy going to work, look forward to the activities that provide the monetary grease to lube the cogs of food, housing, transportation, healthcare, and recreation.  Has never happened to me, though.  I’ve had jobs I didn’t dread, but never any that I actually would have picked going in over other activities if doing so was an unencumbered choice.  By encumbered, I mean things like the afore mentioned food, mortgage payments, and the like — most of us aren’t financially independent.   But it would surely be a wonderful feeling if the cash-flow came from an activity you — heck, forget you, an activity I — enjoyed.  Something to think about for 2014 and beyond.

Of course, there are also those who would love to swap places with me, those who have lost a job and can’t find an equal or near-equal replacement.  So griping about having a decent position that pays reasonably well just because it isn’t fun falls, I’m sure, on a lot of deaf ears.  I guess the part that bothers me is there’s no reason this position has to be the way it is.  Most of the dread comes from artificial pressures and stress (synonyms, I suppose).

In any case, enough of that; tomorrow is back to work, and I’ll go at it 100%+ as I always have.  Perhaps 2014 will see an improvement; if not, I’ll keep slogging through the long, dark cloud until the sun shines through.  And perhaps my next post won’t be quite as gloomy.

From → Ramblings

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